well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
