whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
