Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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