the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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