I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
