I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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