My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
