the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
