I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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