ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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