you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
