There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
