hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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