she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
