doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
