Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
