He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
