They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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