Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
