I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
