I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
