I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
