I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
