Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just high enough for therapy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I supernannyed him into submission
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
