White coat. Heels.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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