I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
