yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i think i just lost a toe
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
