I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
