So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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