I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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