A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
