My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
