Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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