im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
