This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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