i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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