Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
