Whod you bang
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
