Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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