I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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