Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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