I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
