oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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