How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
