you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My bed smells like the plague
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