This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
