Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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