This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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