last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
