you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
