sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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