Im at strip club and am horny
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
